18-28 DCMBR 2x14

2014 in a few words. First and most important; loved my close ones more than i ever did. Also found out who's the real deal, with who i can honestly chill, cry, laugh, be bipolar, wake up in the middle of the night just to eat, be gangsta and classy with and more. I can honestly say, close people know that am too humble to say this BUT, am sooo proud of M Y damn S E L F. I made the goal in 2013 to get my so called 'propedeuse' oh and hell yeah i achieved that in 2014 because honestly this year flew by in a wink and ohh what a happines. I can finally say that happines is the key to every damn thing. It motivates you like crazy to feel extra good and look good like fo realllll hell no theres no way that lil' things we're even in my way to bring my ass down *ratched voice*. 

Also lost few close people aswell (May Allah swt have mercy upon them). All said and done i've: learned a lot + experienced new things + loved more. I put my faith in Allah swt (God) and that made me reach my goals i set for this year + my own happines and positivity was THE key for the succes i had this year. Am still growing, we all are. 

Alhamdulilaah [the only saying on earth that has the power to make you step back and take a good look at what you gained, and not what you lost.]

XO

'When life pushes you down on your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray'.

Mannnnn..i don't think a person will fully understand or feel this line untill they come in a situation where everything seems impossible. It makes you appreciate all the comforting things you used to have but took for granted. 

This is what you call a test from the one above. When you are taking these tests too personal u will feel angry, hopeless and sad. But that's the work of the 'shaytaan'. Also a sign of the attachement of this worldly life. 

Just know, as long as you still got your faith, there will come a light at the end of the tunnel. 

+ Am sure there are plenty things in life that can still make you smile and appreciate life. Be thankfull. 

Good ol' days

Last night i was scrolling through my old blog and found the need to reblog this little lovely post. There's a big chance that this lil' love letter is based on the movie 'Dear John'. I used to l o v e it back then. There's just so much love in it, whether i was in love or not it always used to make me feel some type of way. In a very good way. 

Just a regular love story

When i met u my heart sparked. Never knew that a simple high five cud made me feel like this. A heart that sparked for you. Only you. For the people ur just a human being, but for me u were just indescribable. I never loved to write, but u made me love writing. If it had to be about love, it wud be about you. Cuz even when i only think about writing i think about u. It’s just a whole new movement. Its like two souls who had acrossed eachother. There’s was just no reason for not believing you. And even let out fearing you, when u were using the simple pure words like ‘I love you’. Just a simple smile made my heart make a coddle. So let out the grief. It was like our hearts were talkin the same language. Your voice was the most beautifullest melody in my ears. I was sad when u left, cuz when i spoke with words ur looking at me with ur heart. It was just so pure. U were doing everything so effortless, maybe that was the appealing. The way you were comfortable was like the same way as you were breathing. Nahhh im not addicted to you like cocaïne or weed, but ur still necessary to me like the Sun and the air that we human need. I can still taste ur first breath in my embrace. And now u left me there..even though i know it was bittersweet. How cud we think to let this happen? When we know that we can’t hold that strong connection when we were just crossing our paths in the beginning. Even if i wud shout i cudn’t grab our empty but full of love place that we call hearts. So by the end of this i can only say that nothing, even when it’s beautifull, lastst forever. The only that will last forever, and feel forever, will be the beautiful start.

I woke up this morning, the sunshine was shining.
I’m living,
I’m able, 
I’m breathing,
Im gratefull. <3

This was just a random story written by Ms.Yussuf

2010

Halyeey

My heart is not in peace when i see the people from back home, that i absolutely love to death, struggeling in life. In a weird way i always want them to be better in life than i am. Not because they deserve it more but just to put them in a good state. 

I know what's my strength and how much i can handle. But on the other hand i always ask myself then: if i can do it, why can't they? 

But then i realize that not everyone gets the same changes in life. 

Those moments make me do realize that I am blessed in life. 

Greatfull, alhamdulilaah. 

But on the other hand they can get so much more out of there lifes in cultural and religious ways. I admire the way they live their lives happily with so much gratitude.

'When I came back to the motherland, my cousins told me, 
‘I wish I were you’. My heart was felt with sorrow, 
Thinking, 
If only they knew what it feels like to be stripped from your roots.'

Based on my Hargeisa 2014 trip.

Nostalgia

Let the summer begin

'Hargeisa & Dubai 2014' 

work/sleep/makeup is overrated.

It's one of those days again. No school or work just free as a bird. But deciding to spend those days indoors catchin' up with all my series and books, eating junkfood all day and just layin' around with the most comfiest clothes everrrr. I could work out or meet up with some friends or just make something out of my life. Instead of that i'm just doin' nothing....and all of that lazyness just because 'i deserve that'. 

O'nine

When a good thing goes bad, it's not the end of my world. 

It's just the end of A world. 

All because i'm ready to change.

Reclaim your heart

'What is a gift? A gift is something that did not come from us. It comes and goes. But what happens when a gift becomes more than just a gift? What happens when a want becomes a need, a favor becomes a dependency? What happens when a gift is no longer only that?'

A little checklist

'Striving to become a better person.' That's the answer i give people when i tell them what i what to change about myself. The couple last months i've been reflecting on myself and felt that i need a purpose in life. One purpose. Something to focus on. Something that could make me even feel better. Something that would touch me in the heart. Eventually i came to the conclusion that the answer was right in front of me. I always wanted to become a better Muslima. So my answer changed into: 'Striving to become a better Muslima.'
What i mean with this is: I am really inspired with the deen Al Islaam, because it gives me strength in life. But i also think that it's really important to give people the right answer when they ask me something about my religion. That last part was getting harder for me troughout the years. To gain knowledge about my religion was my number one goal.

The main reason for this big change of mindset was that i've been struggling to protect my imaan from all these bittersweet things in life. And ofcourse i still am, because it's a daily obstacle to not be distracted from the things u wanna focus on. But i was constantly getting in circles. From struggling to realisations.
I wanted to do too much. Doing everything i love, but what happends with everything i need?
I needed to find a way to get along with my deen without being deceived from these world obstacles that would distract me from my goal.

I made a little checklist for myself to get closer to my, or any other, goal:
- Constantly reflect on yourself. Practise is the only thing that can help you if you want to be 'better' in something.
- Start with a minimum list 'things to do', to avoid stress. It can also help you to create a certain way of lifestyle you wanna adapt to.
- Avoid negativity & bad habits, like gossip & cursing.
- Keep the joy in life. Do the things you love to do.
- Don't exhaust yourselve too much. It can take away the 'joy'.
- Keep things to yourself. Avoid to show off and gain people's admiration about what you wanna change so much about yourself. 

- Today is better than tommorow. Don't tell yourself 'i will do it tommorow', when you can easily do it today.

Remember the Prophet's salallahu aleyhi wasallam wish: 'When we truly love someone, we love to know of their wishes and respect them enough make them come true.'

Inspired by: http://www.theidealmuslimah.com

Friday

Mind blown

Silence treatments on a daily base

Silly moves

When the sun is gone and the weather is grey

Funny feeling

Cuz 'No love allowed' is on

Undusting diaries

Cuz there's so much to write about

Growing

Working on my self

God..Allah (swt)

I am trying so hard

So hard

But sometimes i am sinking

So deep

But then i swim back up

Here I am

Plain future. Cuz today is a new day.

Alhamdulilaah..

'Say what you mean, but don't say it mean'.

Staying positive and optimistic all the time is for me the key to a peaceful life.

In places of comfort with the people i felt good with I used to be that person who always wanted to be right when it came to discussions. I couldn't handle the feeling of losing a discussion or argument when someone came with stronger arguments than me. So i tried to convince the other person in many good or bad ways. I even remember a moment when my voice was getting louder of anger and i almost jelled at a person just to get my point right. And at the end i just felt terrible because he didn't even cared at all. And rightafter the little discussion he probably forgot what i just said. I just hated the bad feeling i used to get afterwards. It made me feel bad..

Eventually i realised that there's no way that a person would accept your point in a so called 'negative vibe'.

Further than that i changed into a person who's now quite alert when it comes with 'having my point'. I'm not trying to please everyone with just being nice all the time. I just realised that being  silence in certain is situations is better than to cause a useless nonsense. Dutch people have a perfect line for this: 'Zwijgen is goud'. It means 'Silence is gold'. 

For me it means, preventing myself and others to 'hurt eichother with words'.