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With you, i feel safe

Self interest, best interest.

Tired of always giving 100% to others. Realising that your truly intentions won't always be recognized. People will eventually always think whatever they want to see. It's time to care less. 

'A heart ain't a brain' 

Just a lil' side note in life.

Not relevant.

I'm at a point in life where i don't give two f's about anything no more. I feel like a dead body walking. And subhannaAllah my imaan is this low that i don't even bother to pray or make du'as no more, because i think that allah swt is already dissapointed in me. I feel empty, alone and not important. I have never been this uncomfortable or insecure in my 21 years of life. I hope Allah will give me the strength to make the right choices in life and the ability to make something out of myself in sha allah. Because i know i can but i just can't take any steps. I need a push..a big push in sha allah. 

Johnny

My life only exists about me [selfish, yeah well that's my second name]. Chillin on my own vibe and terms. Being comfy and staying lowkey with what i do and all. But there came this lil' earthquake in my life. Like braah braah braah there was you poppin' on my damn screen. Being all nice and funny. Treating me the best you can. Hey you, you messed up my mind.

In a good way.

18-28 DCMBR 2x14

2014 in a few words. First and most important; loved my close ones more than i ever did. Also found out who's the real deal, with who i can honestly chill, cry, laugh, be bipolar, wake up in the middle of the night just to eat, be gangsta and classy with and more. I can honestly say, close people know that am too humble to say this BUT, am sooo proud of M Y damn S E L F. I made the goal in 2013 to get my so called 'propedeuse' oh and hell yeah i achieved that in 2014 because honestly this year flew by in a wink and ohh what a happines. I can finally say that happines is the key to every damn thing. It motivates you like crazy to feel extra good and look good like fo realllll hell no theres no way that lil' things we're even in my way to bring my ass down *ratched voice*. 

Also lost few close people aswell (May Allah swt have mercy upon them). All said and done i've: learned a lot + experienced new things + loved more. I put my faith in Allah swt (God) and that made me reach my goals i set for this year + my own happines and positivity was THE key for the succes i had this year. Am still growing, we all are. 

Alhamdulilaah [the only saying on earth that has the power to make you step back and take a good look at what you gained, and not what you lost.]

XO

'When life pushes you down on your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray'.

Mannnnn..i don't think a person will fully understand or feel this line untill they come in a situation where everything seems impossible. It makes you appreciate all the comforting things you used to have but took for granted. 

This is what you call a test from the one above. When you are taking these tests too personal u will feel angry, hopeless and sad. But that's the work of the 'shaytaan'. Also a sign of the attachement of this worldly life. 

Just know, as long as you still got your faith, there will come a light at the end of the tunnel. 

+ Am sure there are plenty things in life that can still make you smile and appreciate life. Be thankfull.